and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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