I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Randomize
