the day after is always just damage control
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
The chlamydia really affected his face.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
