so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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