that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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