The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
