u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Randomize
