I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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