I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
