This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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