I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
you made out with another girl for some wings
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
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