Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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