hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Randomize
