Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Randomize
