okay pat passed out under dana's car
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
he shaved USA in his pubs
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Randomize
