If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
