I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
