thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
