My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
