I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
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