Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
