no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
