these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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