On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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