I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
