So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
