I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize