the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
She bit a glass in half.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize