champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize