But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
