how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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