it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
