Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
