So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
