Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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