You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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