Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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