Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
