Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
