On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
She said her name was "party"
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
