I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
