i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
