he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
