Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
