He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
