If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
