dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
