is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
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