Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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