It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Randomize
