u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
We got so high we made milksteak
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I just forgot I was standing up.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
