Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
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