everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
