you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize