The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
