We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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