Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize