well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
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