Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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