Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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