do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
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