i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
