There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
