but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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