You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize