i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Are my feet made of real feet?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
