thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
