You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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